Edward’s Journal
April 3, 2011
The best weekend I’ve
had…maybe ever. Mom & Dad made it
down for the games. Bella was a nervous
wreck meeting them. She had no reason to
be. They love her already. When Mom doesn’t like someone, it’s written
all over her face and she kind of only speaks when spoken to. At dinner last night, she was smiling and
laughing and asking Bella a million and one questions. First general stuff…about her family, her
hometown, and her major. Then about how
we met, even though she already knew.
She’s just a sucker for a love story, I think. Dad…he was quiet at first, which he always
is…always making his mind up before getting too involved first. He always does that…for protection, I
guess. But it didn’t take him any time
before he was cracking jokes…LAME jokes…but that’s my dad.
We won the entire
series, putting us in first place in the conference for now. I hit well and somehow avoided errors with my
mind sometimes wandering off into the stands where I knew my girl was watching.
She was really the
reason the weekend was the best. Being
with her…in every way…in several ways...it’s
everything. It’s so easy to get lost in her, just let everything go. No thinking about homework or grades, about
people who only want to use me, about baseball.
Well…that’s not
entirely true…sometimes I have to think about baseball. She just feels that good.
April 10, 2011
Our baseball schedule
is so busy right now. It’s like we have
a game every other day. That’s how it is
in college baseball, though. I like it
because I love the game. But I miss my
time with Bella. We don’t even get all
of our study hall time because of the weekday games. She understands and is so awesome about it
all but…why couldn’t we have started this earlier in the year when I had more
free time? Not gonna lie…it sucks that
my ball season is right before we leave for the summer. We’ll need to talk about that before
long…what we’re going to do…how often we’ll try to see each other.
May 12, 2011
She always knows when
something’s bothering me. She calls me
out when I’m quiet…well, quieter than usual, I guess. She doesn’t let anything get between us. She is bolder in our relationship than I ever
thought she’d be and I love it.
She’s always up for an
adventure. Most of my weekends are
occupied which sucks complete ass. I
don’t think I’ve gotten to take her out on a real date yet. But she never complains. She even finds ways to surprise me. She met me at my apartment this afternoon
with two dozen doughnut holes and on the bag she had written “I’m going to miss
you a ‘hole’ bunch”. Equal parts cheesy
and cute. I loved it. But what I really loved was the send-off she
gave me.
God she’s sexy without
even trying. She’s giving and I swear
there are days when all I want to do is take…take it all…her mouth, her tits,
her sex…
Shit…cold shower time.
May 17, 2011
I didn’t know welcomes
could get any better, but as usual, I’m wrong.
Sometimes texts and calls just aren’t enough. I crave…I need the physical contact with her. I love watching her fair skin pebble with
goose bumps just from whispering in her ear.
I love the blush she gets from the waist up when I take her shirt
off. I love the wrinkle she gets between
her eyebrows right before she calls ‘bullshit’ on me. I love how sometimes she laughs so hard she
snorts and it embarrasses the hell out of her.
I love how she groans and pulls my hair when I stick my tongue in her
belly button…and lower. I love the
smoothness of the insides of her knees when they brush against my ears when
I’m…
Damn it. We only have a few weeks left in school. Fuck the no weekday sleepover rule.
May 22, 2011
Regular season
baseball is over for another year. Only
the conference tournament, Regionals…and possibly the College World Series to
go.
It’s also our last
full week of school. I usually love summers. Carefree.
Sun. Nothing but free time.
None of it will be fun
without her. Our plan is to see each
other every three weeks. Talk every
day…all the time. Unlimited texts. It won’t be the same.
I’m glad she’ll be
coming to the post season games, even though if we win, I have no idea how I’ll
keep from jumping her in front of God and everybody right out on the field.
June 24, 2011
I miss her. I miss holding her hand. My pillow doesn’t smell the same. It smells like me. All of my t-shirts are present and accounted
for. Well, except for the one. It kind of sucks not teasing her about
missing half of my wardrobe, only for her to bring it back freshly laundered…in
her detergent. Sly little thing. I really liked it when she ‘accidentally’ left
her black lacy panties in my basket.
Two more weeks until I
get to see her. She’s coming to Lucy’s
beach wedding and I can’t wait to see her…and other things. My hand is getting a little tired…especially
after her dirty good morning texts that are usually followed by some kind of
picture that she makes me swear to delete.
She doesn’t need to
know that I email myself the picture…print it…stick it in an envelope in what
looks like a long forgotten book…and THEN delete it.
If Mom ever finds
them…
July 11, 2011
I need to move. Or next summer we’re both going to have to
find a way to take summer classes. I
can’t do this again…this being away from her.
I will say that our…reunions…are more desperate. More intense.
I didn’t know there was such a thing.
I’m not the only impatient one.
That Cosmo shit has really come in handy. Who knew?
She was beautiful in
her dress, white with aqua blue flowered trim.
She looked sweet and innocent.
Her blush helped that. That was
because at first my hand just rested comfortably on her knee, my middle finger
making tiny circles just on the inside…teasing her. Hoping that gave her ideas for later. It worked.
I saw her squeeze her legs together tighter.
And sex on the
beach…not as tricky as you’d think at night and bikinis…may they never go out
of style.
Just over a month
until we’re back in school.
August 8, 2011
Okay. I get it now.
Mother-hovers. And Emmett was on
vacation with Rosalie’s family, giving Bella and I zero alone time at night. But we’re getting good at being sneaky in
public. I never knew I’d be that
guy. But Bella seems to find a thrill in
doing something when there’s the possibility of being caught. Must be why she stayed in so much trouble
when she was younger. Her ‘daredevil’
side is hot, I gotta say.
We did have our first
fight, though, which completely sucked and…well, it was totally funny. She’s competitive…like really
competitive. We went to an arcade just
to get out of the house and have something fun to do. A real date (though thankfully not our first
anymore.) We played air hockey and ping
pong and she threw a fit, swearing I was going easy on her and letting her win.
Um…I wish. She’s just that good. But she gets it in her head that I’m good at
everything. I held my own, but Emmett
has taught her well. She threw the
paddle down and stormed off. I found her
over by the claw game, not knowing what in the hell I’d done. Still not sure I really do.
But some snuggles and
some apologies and some kisses…and winning her a Smurfette six dollars later
seemed to smooth things over.
Fighting sucks…but
making up is fun.
…
December 12, 2012
She wants to be
engaged for a year. She needs a year,
she says. Taking classes this summer was
beyond brilliant. I finished out the
requirements for my math minor and it allowed her to start nursing school a
semester earlier. Now, we’ll graduate
six months apart instead of a year.
Gives me time to find a job…on my own (get off my back, Dad.)
She wanted to go into
social work at first but after being around Lucy so much and even visiting the
children’s ward where she works…she changed her mind. She wanted to be involved with hands on care.
That’s my girl. Always taking care of someone. Usually me.
Find out what kind of ring she wants. Check.
Have Rose sneak a ring out of Bella’s jewelry box for sizing
purposes. Check.
Have diamond set and pick it up. Pray Bella doesn’t find out. Check
Beg Mrs. Cope to help with the set up. Check.
(Remind Dad to make a contribution to the library.)
Write out clues and stick them in her favorite books, hidden
around the library. Check.
Ask for her help on a last minute project. (Check.)
When she finds me in ‘our corner’, ask her to be mine
forever. (Beg if you have to.)
…
January 4, 2014
It’s finally
here…today she’ll become Isabella Marie Cullen.
It will no longer be just my name on her back, but it will be ours and
it’ll be on her finger and hopefully always in her heart.
I
was wrong all those years ago. THIS will
be the best weekend ever.
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