Chapter 18 (She Said Yes)

Chapter 18~(She Said Yes)


BPOV

The trip to Forks was completely exhausting. We were only gone for four days, but those four days were packed with wearisome travel and raw emotion. I felt like I had been run over. It was different than I thought it would be, being back in the little town that I had considered home. I expected to have a feeling of nostalgia as I showed Edward around town, but that never happened. What I did feel was sadness, and I instantly knew that I had gone back to Forks for more than to mourn the loss of Billy Black; I had gone back to let go.

Getting that phone call from Jacob on New Year’s Eve was heartbreaking. While Billy was technically my father’s best friend, he was more like a brother to him. Charlie told me how Billy had been there for him after my mom decided she was leaving him and I’ll never forget how he comforted me after I lost Charlie. He was strong when it came to my tears and he was patient when it came to my worries. Billy was like family to me; the last member of my family that I was actually close to. Yes, I still had my mom, whom I realized that I needed to call and inform about my decision to stay in Cotton Creek, but we just weren’t close. After all, it wasn’t her who had held my hand at my father’s funeral or taken care of me in my guilt and grief. It was Billy and my heart was broken with the knowledge that I had to let go of my last connection to Charlie.

While we were in Forks, I was finally able to let go of the burden that I had carried around for the last three years. I had been living with so many emotions for so long that I never even realized that I hadn’t dealt with them properly. I had merely shoved them aside and numbed myself by starting a new life; a life that changed constantly and never allowed for me to know anyone or be anywhere long enough to grow roots so that I could truly blossom into who I was meant to be.

I knew it wasn’t my fault that my dad had died; that it was only an accident and that they happened all the time. But I had developed anger and bitterness because I felt like I finally had the parent and the relationship I was always supposed to have, only for it to be taken away from me so suddenly. So while I sat in front of his grave, I let go of the bitterness that I held in my heart over such a tragedy. I had felt guilt over his accident because he was worried about me and he died on his way to make sure I was okay, and through the tears I let go of that as well. As I purged myself of each lingering emotion, I realized that I was also letting go of the only place that was ever a constant in my life and I wasn’t scared or nervous or even sad. I only felt peace. I finally mourned the loss of my family the way that I needed to, closing that chapter and choosing to move on with my new life; a life that I hoped was a very permanent one with Edward.

Edward and I had decided that we would wait until the following Sunday at lunch to announce that I was staying. It would also give Carlisle and me some time to sneak away to his office and discuss the job he had offered me while Edward was in Orlando. I needed to talk to him more about salary and the benefits of working directly for him versus staying on with the travel nurse company. I had already called and let them know that I would be staying here, but I needed to give them my final word within the next two weeks as to whether or not I would be extending my contract with them or ending it. I was fairly certain I already knew the answer.

Edward had taken such good care of me and he had also been acting like he was on cloud nine ever since I told him that if it were up to me, I was never leaving. It still didn’t go unnoticed by me that he still had never asked me to stay, and I wanted to know why. It was the Friday night that followed our trip to Forks and we were enjoying what had become our typical winter time dinner and DVR date on the couch while the fire crackled and popped beside us. I hated that the cold kept us inside off of our porch swing, but snuggling and watching mindless television while catching up on our week was a really good second.

It was while we were about to drift off to sleep after a rather playful round of love making that I finally got up the nerve to ask him what I desperately needed to know.

“Edward?” I murmured against his chest. He was twirling the ends of my hair and it was the only reason I knew he was still awake.

“Yes, baby girl?” I began to draw circles through his chest hair in an attempt to settle my nerves.

“I need to ask you something.” He tugged on the ends of my hair so that I would look up at him.

“Sounds serious. Is everything alright?”

I nodded and bit my lip, but didn’t say anything just yet. It wasn’t that I was doubtful of him or what he would say, but I still couldn’t understand why it was so important to me for him to ask; to actually say the words.

“Hey,” he said, pulling me over so that I fully rested on top of him. He lifted my chin so that I would look into his anxious eyes. “You can say anything to me. You know that, right?”

I nodded again and then took a deep breath. “Well, I was just wondering…why didn’t you ever ask me to stay? I mean, Alice was first after she found out about the baby, and then there was Doc when he made me the job offer. Now people at work and church have started asking if I am or in the case of Carmen, telling me that I am, and I don’t know…I guess I was just curious. You are the one whom I always thought would be the first to ask me to stay and yet you never have. I just wondered why not.”

He was quiet for a moment which made me nervous as hell until I could see the side of his mouth draw up into his deliciously crooked grin.

“Well, I have a good answer to that, I promise. But I want to show you while I tell you. Can you wait for my answer until in the mornin’?”

“Um…sure…I guess,” I said hesitantly.

“Baby girl, I swear I’ll make it worth it and I think my answer will make better sense to you then, okay?” He pulled my face to his and I could feel his smile while he kissed me. I was completely confused, but I trusted him and since I had already waited this long, waiting until in the morning for what was apparently going to be a very thorough answer didn’t seem too bad.

-x-X-x-

I was surprised when I woke up the next morning in an empty bed. Even in our non-snuggling moments, Edward and I were snugglers all the same. When we drifted apart during the night, I still usually woke up with us touching butt to butt and leg to leg; however, that morning I was all alone and not liking it one bit.

I threw my arms out to the sides and when I stretched my hand brushed against a piece of paper. I rolled over to see a post it note stuck to Edward’s pillow. In his boyish script he had written:

Shower

Dress Warmly

Meet Me Downstairs for Breakfast

I Love You

After I had done as he asked and enjoyed a breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon, he took me by the hand and led me out onto the porch. He walked me over to the side porch railing and told me to stay put. He hopped over the railing and turned around to face me with a very mischievous grin.

“You wanted to know why I never asked you to stay and I’ll get to that, but I need you to be patient for just a little while longer. I have a few places that I want to take you and a few things that I want to say. At the end, I hope you’ll have the answer you’re looking for, and I hope to have an answer of my own.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. He was being awfully cryptic. “Okaaaay…”

“Okay good. Now,” he said, moving closer so that he could hold both of my hands. “This is the very spot where we first met.” I looked around and for the first time realized exactly where I was standing and he was right.

“At first I was just surprised that you were there. No one was supposed to be home. Then I couldn’t figure out if you had been sent from the Lord as a reward or from Satan to torture me when you decided to introduce yourself to me while only wearing a tank top and lacy blue panties,” he said, winking at me. “After that was when I decided that my dad was either insane or he was a liar because he said you were pretty.” Um…what? He chuckled. “What I meant was that you were most definitely not just ‘pretty’. You were gorgeous in all of your mornin’ glory and it was really difficult for me not to throw you over my shoulder and haul your little cheeky-wearin’ ass up the stairs and wear you out in a mighty good way.”

I was laughing by then, thinking back to my first encounter with my luscious lawn mower man and his sexy ass dimples. It was the first time that I felt the electricity between us and I knew then that I would always want more.

“What stopped you?” I asked.

“Good question. The answer lies in our next destination.” He quirked his eyebrow at me and grinned, “You wanna ride?” Devil.

“Just so you know, the last time you said those words you almost got what you asked for,” I smirked.

“You act like I would have objected you little Jezebel.” He pouted and I shrugged my shoulder and walked toward his truck. As usual he beat me there and was waiting with the door open. “After you.” Of course then he popped me on the butt as I got in. Always has to have the last word.

We didn’t talk in the truck but it didn’t take me long to realize where we were going. We pulled into the Cullen’s drive and I cocked my eyebrow at him. “How does this explain why you didn’t release your inner caveman and drag me upstairs?”

“Because my mama raised me better than that,” he said, rolling his eyes like it should have been obvious. “Plus, she’d still whip my ass if she could catch me so I just make it a point never to cross my mama.”

“I don’t doubt that,” I giggled. We walked into the house with my arm wrapped around his waist and his arm wrapped around my shoulders. He squeezed me closer to him so that he could place a kiss on my temple. I looked up at him and smiled and noticed that he had pure excitement in his eyes. I was dying to know what all of this was about because I still couldn’t connect the dots. It appeared that no one was at home as Edward walked me through the kitchen and led me to sit in the dining room chair that had become mine over the last several months. Edward took his seat across from me where he usually sat and held my gaze before he began talking.

“It was here that I finally introduced myself to you properly. I couldn’t believe you didn’t run for the hills after you’d met everyone. I knew then just by the way you carried yourself and the way you talked that I had to know more about you. But you had your walls up and were a complete mystery to me. I wanted to do whatever I could to make you feel welcome; to make you feel like you had somewhere to belong.”

I reached across the table for his hand and when his fingers curled around mine, I could almost feel myself relax. I already knew that I belonged with him.

“I was drawn to you out on that swing. You looked like an angel with the breeze blowing through your hair. I didn’t know that I had been twirling your hair until after you told me about it, but I must have always had the need to touch you, to be connected to you in some way.”

“Why are you telling me these things?” I asked.

“You’ll see,” he grinned. “Come on. There’s more.” He led me back into the kitchen where I noticed a covered plate sitting in the middle of the bar. “Lift the lid while I get us some milk.”

After lifting the lid I let out a very unladylike snort when I saw a plate full of Carmen’s red velvet cupcakes. “How in the world did you do this?”

He placed my glass of milk down on the bar on one side of me and stood behind me, much like he had in my kitchen all those months ago, only this time much closer. He moved my hair to the side and whispered in my ear, “I’ll have you know that until you came along, I was a very good customer where Carmen’s cupcakes were concerned.” I loved it when he set himself up.

I turned in his arms and placed my hands on his firm chest as I raised up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “Is that what they’re calling it now? Cupcakes? Sassy prefers the word ‘cha-cha’. We’re both adults…I think you can say the word…pussy.” I sucked his ear lobe into my mouth and nibbled on it before backing away.

There was a very familiar fire in his eyes and he was breathing heavily. I couldn’t help but laugh at him because while he squeezed his eyes shut, he was chanting over and over, “I’m in my mama’s kitchen. I’m in my mama’s kitchen. I cannot have my way with Bella while I’m in my mama’s kitchen.”

I picked up a cupcake and took a big bite, knowing that I would have some of that famous cream cheese icing left over on my lips. When he looked up at me and saw my dilemma, he attacked my mouth with his, first tracing my lips with his tongue to remove all of the remnants of icing before he dove in and tasted me. Lord have mercy this man could kiss and if I died right now, it would damn sure be with a smile. We kissed until I was breathless and giggly.

He shook his head at me. “I love you, you know that?” I nodded and grinned at him. “It was in your kitchen after we sang to each other over these blasted cupcakes that I knew that I wanted you; that I had to have you. It was then that I decided that I needed to step up my game plan.”

He recovered the plate and grabbed it before leading me out of the house and back to the truck. Our next stop brought us to the parking lot of the high school where the practice field was. I was beginning to see a pattern to the stops we were making and I especially noticed a theme in the mix of songs that had been playing on his iPod as we rode along.

He lowered the volume on the music and turned to face me. He turned my hand over in his so that it was palm side up and he began to trace the outline of each finger and the lines in my palm as he spoke quietly to me.

“We were here under the stars when I first held your hand. I still didn’t know much about you, but I did know that you were smart, funny, talented and beautiful and that you would put me in my place when I needed to be. I also knew that you were special and that I needed you in my life, no matter what the relationship might be, so I asked you to be my best friend. I knew that if you’d just let me, that I could at least be that person for you. I needed you to be that person for me.”

He looked up at me almost shyly through his lashes and chuckled. “I didn’t want to let you go that night and I really wanted to kiss you, but I knew I still had some work to do.” He kissed the back of my hand before turning the music back up and pulling out of the parking lot.

I was beginning to understand that he was taking me on a tour of our relationship, so to speak, and telling me what he was thinking all along the way. I could only hope that I would understand his reasons at the end of this trip down memory lane.

Next we sat in front of Sugar’s wearing matching smirks. I’ll never forget how turned on I was that night, or the fact that he was asleep in my room the next morning.

“I’m pretty sure I borderline molested you the first night we came here. Gah, you were so freakin’ sexy and it was the first time I was able to touch your skin, other than your hands, and I was so completely lost. Your flirt was on high that night, baby girl; singin’ and dancin’. I finally got to hold you in my arms at the end of the night but if we had stayed any longer the patrons of this fine establishment might have gotten themselves a little show and then Sugar would have whipped my ass.” I snickered, knowing he was right.

“Yeah, I may have had a little bit of liquid courage in the form of at least three Alabama Slammers that night. But it was so worth it to hear you growl at me. That was hot. So you aren’t the only one who nearly gave everyone a show.”

He growled at me for sport before leaning over and cupping his hand around the back of my neck and pulling me in for a slow and torturous kiss that made my toes curl.

When he pulled away he placed his forehead against mine and murmured, “We had another good night at this place. It was the best night of my life, telling you and showing you how much I loved you.”

“Me, too,” I sighed, rubbing my thumb back and forth over the stubble on his jaw. I’d never forget that night; the honesty of his music or the sweetness of his lyrics and the love in his touch. I let my last wall fall that night and I’ve never looked back.

We drove through town and stopped in front of the church just long enough to listen to the bells play the chorus of “Amazing Grace”. I remembered how we played that day and what it felt like sitting behind him on the four-wheeler with my cheek pressed against his back and my arms wrapped around his waist. He smelled like creek water and sunshine and at the time I wanted nothing more than to sit there forever. But then I may never have gotten that first delicious kiss and I found myself desperately hoping that we were going home soon.

We did go home and when he pulled up in front of the house, he helped me out of the truck and led me to the living room without a word. We sat facing each other, knee to knee, on the couch where his hand was immediately in my hair, twirling it. I had learned that while it calmed him when he was trying to find his words, it also calmed me when I was the one waiting. It wasn’t so much in the action, but in the connection we had to each other. I was his peace and he was mine.

“I can’t take you to the lake or to Huntsville today, but we made fond memories there, too.” He grinned and I agreed with him. “But the sweetest memories, to me, were made in this house.” He swallowed thickly while the intensity of his beautiful green eyes bore through mine directly into my soul. “We met here. We kissed here. We made love here; with music, with words and with our bodies. We were here when you gave me this necklace that told me that I was your home. Today I wanted to show you how our relationship has grown over the last few months. You started as a beautiful mystery. You became my best friend and then my lover. Now, you are more…so much more.”

He took a deep breath and pulled me over onto his lap. This was big. For all of our big talks, this is how we would sit so that we could touch wherever we could, as much as we could.

“The reason I never asked you to stay was because I didn’t want it to be because you were nearin’ the end of your contract. I needed it to be your decision. I wanted you to stay because you wanted to be here; because you wanted to be with me. I didn’t want to ask you to stay and then you extend your contract for six more months or a year. When I asked you to stay, I wanted it to be forever.”

I could taste the hot tears that had rolled down my face when I gasped at his words. Oh, shit! What is he saying?

“Bella, I love you. I love you so much that it doesn’t really even matter anymore if you stay or not because if you leave, no matter where you go, I’ll be comin’ with you. You are everything I have been waiting for and everything that I have ever wanted. But what I want most right now is for you to stay here with me…not just for now, but for forever. The more that I want from you now is for you to be my wife.”

He scooted me back on his lap and reached into his pocket and pulled out the most gorgeous ring that I had ever seen. It was a canary diamond surrounded by white diamonds that continued around the band also. A sob ripped through my chest at the sight of it and what I knew it meant.

“Baby girl, please…will you marry me?”

I almost couldn’t breathe I was so stunned. The only thing I knew to do was to kiss him. And I kissed him good, too. I kissed him while I cried and I kissed him while I laughed. I told him ‘yes’ between every kiss that I rained down over his entire face.

I looked him in the eyes as I held his face between my hands. “Alice is going to be so mad that you out-did her in asking me to stay,” I smirked.

“She’ll live. So are you gonna wear this ring or should we take it to the people on that Pawn Stars show you like so much?”

“Not a freakin’ chance. Besides…you know my motto on this subject.” He quirked his eyebrow in question at me. “No take-backs.”

He shook his head. “No take-backs. Can I put it on you now?”

“Please.”

He slowly slid the ring onto my third finger and once it reached its permanent home, he sealed it there with a kiss.

“Mine,” he whispered before his lips caressed mine.

Against his lips I whispered back, “Forever.”