JAK 7-Bonus-Edward’s
Journal
January 24, 2011
I’ve seen
her…looking. It’s nothing new to
me. I’m used to people gawking at me for
one reason or another. Growing up people
recognized my last name. Or at least
their parents did. Lucy and I were taught
early about being careful whom we surrounded ourselves with. People would try to take advantage of us;
become our friend just so they could be associated with the kind of status that
Cullen Pharmaceuticals so often brings.
Try to attach themselves to us for money or false charity.
It’s all bullshit.
I haven’t done
anything to earn the money that’s in my bank account. I can’t help whatever “looks” that people
seem to think I have. The only things
that matter to me are my family and the things that I’ve worked for. I busted my ass for both my academic and
athletic scholarships. Those are the two
areas where my last name never meant anything.
They were earned by my own merit; late nights studying and hours at the
ball field for years on end.
But she looks at me differently than the others
do. She gently chews on her full bottom
lip, occasionally furrows her brow and cocks her head like she’s trying to
figure me out. She blushes when she’s
caught…her nose and cheeks, her neck and further down under the collar of her
shirt. She also looks away and busies
herself with work for what seems like forever before I’m able to catch her
again. It’s becoming a little like a
game to me.
The looks she gives me
are interested, but innocent. Lovely,
not lewd. For the first time in a long
time…I think I’d like to know more.
January 27, 2011
She’s Emmett’s cousin! How have I missed this? I’ve known the guy for a year and a half and
somehow she and I are just now crossing paths. I find myself wanting her attention, just
waiting for her eyes to meet mine. For
years I’ve buried myself in books and sports as a way to hide from all things
unsolicited. But she’s different. I’m not sure how I know. But I do.
Bella. That’s her name. It definitely fits.
January 31, 2011
We began indoor drills
today. The weather needs to warm up
more-and quit with the damn rain already-before we can start practices outside,
even though we’re finally allowed by the NCAA.
It felt great to get loose again, even though we were limited in what we
could do. I’ve always loved this
game. It’s always just been so natural
for me. I love the focus of it, the
repetition. How it’s both a team and an individual
sport.
Some of the new guys
are a little cocky, but it won’t take long for the older players to initiate
them a little bit. We all went through a
little ego bruising…or in my case, a little head shaving.
February 8, 2011
Classes are going
well. I’m ready to be done with this
year so I can put the basics behind me and really start getting into the more
focused classes for my major.
Lucy is only a few
months from graduation. She seemed
stressed out when we had lunch today, but that’s not surprising since she’s
about to be doing her clinicals, preceptorship and planning her wedding all at
one time. Mom tried to get her to wait,
but Lucy is stubborn and is just ready to get her nursing license…and her marriage license.
I was running late for
study hall today and decided to go ahead and dress for practice. But being in autopilot also meant I dressed
all the way down to my cleats. I didn’t
think about the God awful noise they’d make in the library. I took a little ribbing from Emmett and
Jasper about it, but the good news?
I definitely had
Bella’s attention.
February 14, 2011
She wore a red sweater
today. God, but she’s pretty. Long, dark hair with just a little bit of
curl to the ends. Big brown eyes that
are shy and sincere. She laughs freely
with Emmett, even if Mrs. Cope shushes her.
They’re more like brother and sister than cousins. The way we trade glances and smiles…it’s
getting to me…in lots of ways. I think
I’m going to have to spend extra time at the batting cages…get rid of the
excess…energy.
We
can’t dance around each other forever. I
want to know her. I have to talk to her
soon. This shyness is getting
ridiculous…hers and
mine.
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